Nine Ways to Get Closer to your Cats by Using Similarity/Attraction Bias

You’ve probably seen the conceit on one of your favorite sitcoms: a character tries to get closer to their date by mimicking their actions. If she rests her chin on her hand, they mirror the movement. If he crosses his arms, they do the same. It’s not just dating advice hooey; it’s based on science.

Similarity/attraction bias suggests that we are drawn to people who have similar characteristics or attitudes. Tall people tend to date other tall people. Vegans prefer the company of other vegans.

So, how can we apply this theory to cats (who are neither tall nor vegan)?

Sure, you can try walking around on all fours, but trust me, that gets really old really fast.

Instead, try these nine ways to let your cats know that “you’re the one.”

  1. Be finicky. Turn your nose up at your food. Cover it up with a napkin. Your cat will be impressed by your obvious foodie sensibilities.
  2. Enjoy a cup of catnip tea. Your cats may be a bit confused by your reaction, because while catnip is a stimulant for cats, it’s a sedative for people. (But “opposites attract” is a corollary to this theory!)
  3. Be aloof. Just like Groucho Marx, cats don’t want to belong to any club that will have them as a member. Blow them off every once in a while. (Respect.)
  4. Develop the “night crazies.” Run around your house in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. (Ideal for those having a hard time squeezing exercise into their daily schedule.) Just don’t cross paths and trip over your cat.
  5. Take frequent baths. This can be in the form of washing your hands immediately after shaking hands with someone. This will endear you to your cats. (Although your new acquaintances will be less impressed.)
  6. Stare at things that aren’t there. Pick a spot on the wall (or a non-spot if you will) and just muse on it for a while.
  7. When leaving for work in the morning, go in and out of your home a few times. Your sovereign indecision will be lauded by your cat.
  8. Take frequent naps. If you play your cards right, your cats may join you. Be prepared for the self-induced guilt trip when you must inevitably get up before them.
  9. Cover up your waste. (Your cat may even enjoy watching the flush!)